Let me first begin by saying that I am not an interesting person. There will be no heroic tales or adventures in my blog. I am merely me. I am an insignificant person and that pleases me considering I hate having attention drawn towards me. I work as a CNA (for those who are unaware what this is, it stands for Certified Nursing Assistant which translates as a person who does very basic health care and is responsible for helping the nurses as best as they can) in a hospital and I'm in school to become a Veterinary Nurse. A veterinary nurse was not my first choice, in fact I went through many job dreams as I grew up. My first dream job was to be a Meteorologist but when I discovered that it was nearly impossible to get a job ONLY chasing tornadoes I quickly decided against it. Then it was to be a doctor. I felt that being a nurse would be much more rewarding so I started off as a CNA and quickly realized that nurses are under appreciated, over worked, and quickly burned out. I saw that no matter how much good you do for some people they will always complain and threaten. Seeing people come in waving the "I'll sue" statement around just so that they can get their fix on narcotics made me feel disgusted and angry. After 4 years of working as a CNA I ultimately decided that nursing wasn't for me so I switched my ambitions to becoming an astronomer. Space had been a relatively new love for me. I remember the first night my grandfather pulled out his telescope and let me view the stars... I fell in love right away. I had my college picked out and was ready to get started when I further looked into what a job like that would require for me. That is when I saw "teaching". I'm not a good teacher, I'm overly critical and have zero patience for some people. I couldn't in all good consciousness go for a career that would ultimately leave me miserable (or my students miserable) so I again looked into different career paths. I continued working for 2 more years when I met my future husband. It was love at first sight, but that is a story for a different time. We had been married for 2 years when my sister mentioned veterinary nursing stating that my love for animals would make a wonderful career and so my husband aided me in finding a good school. I had never heard of this, assuming that Veterinarians were the only jobs available for animal care. I looked further into it and decided that it was something worth trying. I'm currently in my second year of school and will finish in December of this year. It's truly the first time in my life where I felt happy with my decision.
That is my schooling and career history.
There are so many things that can define or make up a person. My personality I feel is a great part of what makes me, me. I'm a quiet individual and hate to indulge information regarding myself unless its done incognito. I love to blog and chat on forums just as long as no one knows me personally. I feel a sense of security hiding behind a computer and a screen name. I have quirky habits and behaviors that thankfully my husband finds endearing. I'm a nerd at heart and am addicted to Star Trek, Star Wars, documentaries, and the history channel. I also have a mental illness. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, panic disorder, depression, and Bipolar II disorder. These all make a big part of me. When I first realized I had problems I had let them progress so far that I was at the point where I could not even leave my house for fear of some unknown disaster that awaited me if I did. I wouldn't dare go upstairs in my home without my husband because some deep part of me felt that a little girl lived up there. After seeing me slowly develop more and more fears, my husband convinced me to go see a therapist. It was the perfect decision and has done me good since then. The first 2 years were the hardest. I ended up in the hospital 4 times on various occasions relating to my mental illness. My emotions were all over the place and the only thing I could rely on was my husband, my loving sister, and caring parents. They all stood by me and supported me through it all. Its something I can never repay them for and I try to remember to thank them for it everyday. I've gone through many medication trials and have finally in the past year have found the right combination. It feels wonderful that I can get up each morning and get ready for the day without feeling like it takes every ounce of my energy to do so. My emotions have stabilized and there is no guess work as to what I'll do next. I do not hate having a mental illness for it definitely is a part of what makes me and I feel that it has made me a much better person. I have patience for individuals and I am able to handle more than I was ever capable of before.
That is a small portion of everything that defines me, but I don't want to bore anyone. I wanted to give you a basic idea of what I'm like so that perhaps some of my mindless rabble and rants would at least have an explanation as to why I say and do the things I do.
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